Qualities of a Good Master

by Raven's Boy, Joshua

I wrote this list for someone who wished to be a master and wanted to know what qualities to cultivate, but it serves equally well as qualities for a submissive to look for when seeking a master. To simply be a master, you only need a strong will and some skills in understanding people -- how they work and what motivates them -- in order to get them to do what you want. Charisma, arrogance, formal protocol, and general "domliness" may convince the casual observer that you are a good master, but I think it takes a little more than that. If someone is to freely offer their entire life over to another person, shouldn't they expect a bit more of them than charm and a full toybag? Being a good master is more than being a good person; it is being a good person when in complete control of another.

Obviously, different people hold different standards, but here are some qualities I personally would expect of a good master (or mistress). They are in no particular order, and I've randomly alternated the genders throughout.

He has impeccable honor. He has a clearly defined moral code and he actually lives by it. While he needn't be completely perfect, he needs to be significantly better than most people in this in order to be trusted with complete control over another person. He is well aware of any areas where he has difficulty holding consistently to his moral code, and he is always working to improve. He recognizes quickly when he has acted dishonorably, and seeks to make amends in whatever way he can.

She can clearly state her core values and priorities, and her words and actions reflect them. When her priorities are unflattering, she is honest with herself about them, even if she chooses to keep them private.

His philosophical and/or spiritual beliefs, especially with regard to honor, responsibility, leadership, and service, are sincerely held and not merely self-serving. He has some concept of something greater than his personal will or ego, if only the common good of society.

She acts honorably when she has "real world" power over someone, such as her children, pets, or employees. She treats service personnel with courtesy, and is comfortable receiving personal service. She is not derisive towards or made uncomfortable by people of a lower social station.

He acts honorably when someone has "real world" power over him. Even if he dislikes acting under anyone else's direction, it does not make him irrational or petty. He acts politely and reasonably to his boss, police officers, judges, and the like. He is not derisive towards or made uncomfortable by people of a higher social station.

She knows her limitations and failings, and can respond maturely to someone pointing them out even when they do so rudely. She genuinely appreciates constructive criticism from an appropriate source, even when it is difficult for her to hear.

He knows what he wants and makes no apologies for it. He knows the difference between what he wants and what he can have, and handles such disappointments with maturity. He does not feel excessive guilt or discomfort about desiring control over another person, and feels he can act on these feelings without violating his ethical or spiritual beliefs.

She knows clearly the difference between fantasy and reality, and can function in reality. She knows the difference between truth and fiction, and is honest unless she has good reason not to be. She knows the difference between telling lies, being honestly mistaken, and being willfully ignorant, both in reference to her own statements and those of others. She operates under a fairly internally consistent logic that is in harmony with her perception of reality. She is not actively mentally ill in any significant way.

He has no addictions, obsessions, or compulsions that seriously interfere with his ability to make decisions.

She takes responsibility for her words and actions. In crisis, she doesn't look first for someone or something to blame. She understands and accepts the consequences of her actions, both long and short term.

He understands that the best plans fail occasionally, even when every possible effort has been made, and that no one is perfect. He can do honest risk assessment and make back-up plans, and cope with failures maturely and constructively.

She has her life in good order, for the most part, and does not live crisis to crisis. She does not seem to invite turmoil into her life without good reason.

He is reliable. If he says he will do something, you can trust that he will make every effort to do it. If he knows there is a significantly higher than normal chance of failure in a plan, he strives to make this clear beforehand to the parties concerned.

Her judgment is sound. She makes better choices than most in tough situations, and is not paralyzed by difficult or unpleasant choices. She has good reasons for her decisions, regardless of whether she explains them to others.

He understands his emotions and copes with them reasonably well. He has someone in his life with whom he can express his emotions, if only a therapist or clergyperson.

She controls her temper flawlessly. She does not act on sadistic urges (emotional or physical) in inappropriate ways, even under stress. She does not respond violently without serious physical provocation.

Some people may put more emphasis on different points of character, of have more or less flexibility in certain areas, but I feel the real important thing is to have some idea of what you personally think makes for a good master, beyond the basic ability to inspire someone to do as you say. One can be extremely good at extracting obedience and be a fairly reprehensible person. There are very few real psychos out there, but many irresponsible and self-centered individuals who can cause a great deal of damage to a person who is so vulnerable to them. If slaves are to find honor in their service, they must do it by serving honorable masters.