Care and Handling of the Autistic-Spectrum-Disorder S-Type

by Raven Kaldera & Joshua Tenpenny

Emotional Expression

This is reprinted from Broken Toys: Submissives with Mental Illness and Neurological Dysfunctionedited by Del Tashlin & Raven Kaldera.

Raven:

As we’ve mentioned, ASD folks come in a variety of abilities to notice and identify their own emotions and express those in a socially acceptable way. Some of them, when behaving naturally, tend to express them in odd physical ways - hand-flapping, jumping up and down, making strings of strange noises, etc. Usually they’ve been discouraged from doing this in childhood, but it may still remain their favorite - if private - form of expression. Allowing them to indulge in it when you are alone together can be a great gift - you’ll be the one person with whom they can be themselves.

Others don’t seem to have any natural way to express emotion. (At its most severe, this is called alexithymia, which indicates a serious inability to feel or express emotions.) Joshua had trouble figuring out what he was feeling, so we worked on his awareness of his physical reactions; usually his stomach will figure out that he is stressed well before he does, if he ever does, so checking with his body helped a lot. (I later discovered that this is a therapy technique used for mild alexithymia.) It’s not that he doesn’t have emotions, it’s that they don’t have a natural way out. Someone like this could actually be a positive project for a master who enjoys shaping and controlling their s-type, as they could train them to consciously respond a certain way when they are feeling a certain emotion. Eventually the learned behavior would become the “doorway”, and then you have a slave whose emotional reactions you’ve custom-designed. (That’s what we’re working on, slowly, over time. Such projects, of course, need to be entered into with the enthusiasm of the s-type, without whose aid you will not be able to achieve anything.)

Aside from that, if you really don’t care that your s-type’s response to happiness is to flap, beep, or just stand there like an expressionless statue, then it really doesn’t matter. As long as they can verbalize their feelings enough to keep you in the loop, then things will be all right. Transparency may be a serious discipline for them, though, if only because it requires noticing, interpreting, and articulating feelings on a regular basis.

Joshua:

It was incredibly freeing to understand my ASD diagnosis, and give myself “permission” to use ASD-type coping mechanisms in private. I’d already run through all the “normal” social expressions of those emotions, and even some of the pathological and unhealthy ones, as an attempt to make a connections between feelings and actions. I was so desperate to find behaviors that would connect meaningfully to my emotions that I intentionally tried a various self-harm behaviors, to see if that would work. (They didn’t, fortunately.) However, when I finally got comfortable with my diagnosis, I tried some of the “traditional” ASD behaviors - hand-flapping, rocking, making high-pitched noises - and I was shocked by how good they felt, and how naturally they connected to my emotions. There really is some kind of neurological basis to those behaviors. Most of them are not appropriate in public, but it’s great for me to have a new variety of coping behaviors (if only in private) to work with.

Continued: Self Help and Resources